How to protect the well-being of children during high-conflict divorce and separation

In high-conflict divorce and separations, children’s well-being must remain the main priority. By minimising exposure to conflict, maintaining stability, and seeking appropriate legal and emotional support, parents can help their children navigate this challenging time with resilience.

Here are some practical and legal ways to protect children’s well-being during these challenging times:

1. Prioritise the child’s needs above all else – the law in England and Wales is clear: the child’s welfare is the paramount consideration in any family court proceedings. This principle, set out in the Children Act 1989, should guide all decisions. Focus on what arrangements best support your child’s stability, education, and emotional development, even if it requires compromise on your part. Consider the welfare checklist as 1(3) of the Children Act 1989 which are the guiding principles of a Court when making a decision regarding a child.
2. Avoid exposing children to parental conflict – one of the most harmful effects of high-conflict separations is children being caught in the middle. Parents must avoid arguing or discussing contentious issues in front of their children. Research consistently shows that exposure to parental conflict can have long-term negative effects on children’s mental health and relationships. Consider using structured communication tools, such as family mediators or parenting apps, to reduce the risk of direct conflict.
3. Maintain consistency and routine – children cope best when they feel secure. To the extent possible, maintain their routines, including school attendance, extracurricular activities, and time with friends and extended family. Courts will often prioritise arrangements that minimise disruption to a child’s daily life.
4. Facilitate positive contact with both parents – unless there are safeguarding concerns, it’s essential for children to maintain meaningful relationships with both parents. Courts encourage shared care arrangements and view consistent, positive time spent with each parent as being in the child’s best interests. Resist the urge to speak negatively about the other parent, as this can confuse and distress children.
5. Seek support for emotional well-being – high-conflict separations can take an emotional toll on children. Engaging a professional therapist or counsellor can provide them with a safe space to express their feelings. Support groups or workshops tailored to children of separated parents may also help them process changes in a healthy way.
6. Engage with legal professionals early – a skilled family solicitor can help parents navigate high-conflict separations while prioritising the child’s welfare. They can guide you through child arrangement orders, mediation, family therapy and other options designed to de-escalate conflict and focus on practical solutions.
7. Work towards amicable co-parenting – while high-conflict situations can make co-parenting seem impossible, striving for a cooperative conciliatory approach will ultimately benefit the child. Mediation can help parents develop a child-focused parenting plan that outlines shared responsibilities and reduces areas of potential disagreement and conflict.

This article was brought to you by Kidd Rapinet’s family solicitors. You can book an appointment with any of the family lawyers across our other offices in Aylesbury, Canary Wharf, Farnham, High Wycombe, Maidenhead or Slough, using the form provided.  Please use the links provided to find more information on divorce or separation, child arrangements and other areas of family law.

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